The reasons for divorce can be complicated, at least that is what we all thought. Some studies have pointed to finances as being the primary driver, but the Harvard Business School has found that the most common reason for divorce.
Behind the findings
Behind HBS’s findings is the idea that, in relationships, couples engage in “exchange-orientation.” Basically, couples silently keep track of everything they both do in the relationship, like who cleans the dishes, washes the most laundry, etc. Then, at some point, if one spouse believes they are being treated unfairly or contribute too much, then an argument ensues, which can explode to bigger arguments. Those, in turn, escalate into relationship-ending arguments.
Wait, those sounds like chores?
Exactly. HBS found that ordinary household chores were the leading cause of divorce. It may be surprising, but the small, little resentments build up over time until people explode.
What kind of chores?
As anyone who has ever purchased or sold a home, the most important room in the home is the kitchen, and for divorce instigating household chores, both cleaning the kitchen and doing the dishes topped the lists of those chores that led to a divorce. They were at 57% and 42% respectively. Surprisingly, taking out the trash (46%) was 10% higher than cleaning the bathroom (36%).
Periodically, Roseland, New Jersey, couples should do relationship maintenance. Sit down and talk about the big stuff, but also talk about the little stuff. Do both spouses believe they are equally sharing relationship duties? While it may be difficult and uncomfortable, according to HBS research, it could save one’s relationship.